The Sex Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After the original source orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however visit homepage the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay guys desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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