The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to get more have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .

But Learn More when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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